So I have been

So I have been looking up information about the Millenials, or the Millenials Generation which was the generation that was born after Generation X (Kurt Cobain Generation ) from 1982-2002. I was born 1987 so I am related to this era, its interesting how parents differ so much from back in the day. Aparently, the parents of the "Millinials" were known as "helicopter parents", this term came from their partaking at our acheivement with the eye of a helicopter, always looking to all of successes from homework to school to outdoor activities, helping us (with school pencils, friends, papers, computers) with the eyes of a helicopter. "looking down at our every waking need". This aparently, made us susceptible to a lack of realism, concerning the world outside of our box. Kids from this era suffer from a alot of anxiety concerning grades and school, because we acknowlege our own importance and value, and that of pleasing the parents....

But anyways I have to put all this research in better educational language for my presentation.
Its nice to learn that i actually came from a "generation".

For sooo long it seemed like i was one of those kids with no real sense of where i was, or where i came from. I always wondered what will be of me and my friends and of this world? Because everything was so organized inside my box, even disorganized...I was still in a box.

Its insane, because i know my friends growing up, like i know the context of my skin. I loved my friends dearly growing up and I can see the similirities of the kids growing up in my neighborhood. Cuurrently these days my friends are now seeking life, outside of the box, outside of their parents eyes, outside of their financial aid. Completely naked. Walking and working, going through their episodes of chaos, and learning patience, after not learning from it through reality for a while.

I love my friends. Even though i havent stayed in touch with most of my friends from growing, up. When i do see their faces, i can see their growth, and I can touch their wounds caused from a life that was too comfortably theres, a world that was too over protected. By t.v. by computer, by brothers and sisters, playing the same tricks. By a class with the same kids...by friends with the same funny stories to tell (because different friends were either to different for us, or for our parents to like) Soem of us were spoiled ...by the rules we do follow. Spoiled by our cars and games. We arent our best friends, parents were out best friend. We just dont realize it, until we are completely alone to take full responsibility for ourselves. Then we will have to learn to be our best friends. Sometimes parents need to put some faith in their children, let them make their own mistakes, and not have them on such a tight leash. Not train them to be such goody too shoes.

What if in reality outside of this protected illusion of protection, they are not goodie to shoes? Just repressed and molded to your liking? What if they are actually jealous and maybe even vengeful individuals, who act good in front of you, just to get buy? maybe because their a little scared you wont accept them? Maybe they believe you wont love them if they get bad grades....And maybe thats why they randonly scream and shout at something so small and "immature"... cause their actually scared, they see the world outside is so so different from within the walls of protection and harmony, that they are lost.

They dont want protection, they want guidance. They want to be their own protectors. in reality And getting good grades really isnt that important to them. Even though atleast to these kids, it seems like it is. Because it keeps the home in check. Their world in balance, for fear of rejection. But its ok......its ok. they dont know its ok, to be rejected, because they've never been rejected (if their world is really that "perfect" like mines was....) If everything is such a big deal to parents, then it becomes a big deal to them, pleasing you, instead of pleasing themselves. Dont make their problems into a big deal, to the point that they have to manipulate you, just look at it. just listen, and smile as they cry or scream and say you understand...even if you dont. It'll make you into a stronger person...it'll probably make you cry too.

You cant change a persons existance by molding them, you can only push them in the right direction. And have faith that they will love you in return after doing so. Years and years later.

My friends can easily see my wounds. Its like we are growing together, its like we are not alone, even though i feel so uncertain and afraid at times. And i can see where they will evantually reach... freedom happiness and independence, with alot of hard work, patience and love. Not a freedom that was brainwashed into us as kids. But one that we took for ourselves after negating that within ourselves for years, after working through a net work of pleasing and molding and imaginary happiness, through school work.

I had it good, and yes i took it for granted. because it was easy to take it for granted. and i- regret- it. I should have stayed in another after school program after i quit ballet (after 10 years). My family didnt even know the real reason why, because i hid with it an immature response "I got bored of it". Maybe i was too smart for my own good. Or maybe i didnt actually receive the right attention at home. Mom was to tired from working and coming home to a dirty home. Dad worked over night shifts and was gone during the day.


I wonder what will happen with this next generation of kids....somehow I think that they will unite with my generation, and it will all be dandy. We are too similar. I as a parent would be an interesting parent. My kid, will either end up super ultra confident and crazy, because of my random confidence and acceptability of hard to do endeavors, or if i am un- coordinated, very introverted and passive, or both. But regardless, he or she will be human.

SO human it'll make me cry.