Happiness

Sadness compels you to see things in a sad way, if you want to be happy, you must see things in a happy way. There are no tricks to it, but doing it. So stop screwing up your life……

Remembering to do this all the time, will only make you happier, and happier.

Until finally without realizing it, you are everything you always wanted to be.

-this is what my heart believes

some self help, for anyone who needs it

What should I do?

If a situation ever comes and i encounter hard core racist people. Should i blame it on narrow mindedness? Should I take responsibility and correct the individuals process of thinking?

How can i help myself, be calm?

I need some Dali Llama in my life. I need some Zen, I need some patience, and I need more wisdom. I need more discipline. I need to love myself no matter what.

Oh Dali Llama, Dali Llama, lol

Oh Dali Llama, Dali Llama.

Those who are unlucky

Stop hatingggggg

"Luck bad if not good, will always be with us. But it has its way of favoring the intelligent, and showing its back to the stupid." - John Dewey

Some rainy days ago, I remember recalling friends, who use that excuse of society, to excuse themselves for feeling "subordinated" which means according to free dictionary.com 'Belonging to a lower or inferiority class or rank; secondary'. If you have an inferiority complex, then thats the real stem of your problems. A person who believes in themselves, would never say or truly believe that they themselves or their own people, are inferior. Thats just the mentality of one who is shallow enough to compare apples to oranges. Their just different.

We do live in a society of some prejudice, but mostly stereotypes, and narrowmindedness.

I never cared for society. I never cared if i was popular.
Though I remember caring about looking pretty, i was shallow, it got in the way of getting the attention of the guy who i liked . i needed more confidence.
I even had some faith, that even though the other girl looked prettier than i did, that i could still get the guy if I gave myself the chance.

It seems that the only way to live life, is to take chances to grow.

And i cried, cried cried cried. And it really did feel like forever till i had my first boyfriend in 9th grade.

What i realized though, through out my desperation, to be "equal" to these pretty girls. Is if I learn to focus more on my thoughts my feelings, my strength. i could be free from that sort of mentality. I could get anything i wanted if I made myself free, from my own jealousy, my own narrowmindedness, my own fears. This is where I know i am smart. Acting on that is a different story.
Growing up, I was a little girl about handling situations. Even though i honestly never believed in "bad luck" or "goodluck" i still empathised for others when they had "bad luck". "Awww poor youuu". I was too scared to tell them how i really felt, even my mother, when she was talking poorly about her entire life.... " Let that (your pain)be your strength, dont let it become the "end of you"...
Honestly I just hated seeing my mother cry. It made me feel so...............helpless, and ostracized from reality.
I was a "little girl" who had to take the authority of an adult to help her. I wasn't prepared, if she had the mind, to take me seriously. And that was my fault. I should have just done it. Well done it, without doubting myself so much. And perhaps learn something more from it, rather than just overcoming my doubts... thats what i am trying to train myself to do now. Getting over the fact that others might not like me, or not say nice things to me, if i become the outspoken passionate individual that i know i am.


i feel that people who "taint" things negatively by labeling real world problems as oh "bad luck always happens to me" is like they are admitting that their lives are above that of reality.

And reality is what you make of the present. Thats it.

I am true believer that you get what you truly deserve.
Like If you feel like that was the best pizza in the whole world, you probably deserved to feel like... that was the best pizza in the whole world. Somewhere deep inside your conscious, whether you choose to acknowldge and validate it or not, you deserve that pizza. That really good tasting pizza. Dont let other people confuse you into feeling, other wise. (This is just an exxageration) Thats just confusing. Its just an imaginary veil of pessimism.

People who use this "bad luck" or only fooling themselves, or perhaps too weak to admit that they are delussional. Rational people who want a happy life, know that you cant change reality by admiting to yourself, that everything bad is coming to you. Thats like digging your own grave, and saying that once you are dead, "see it was all bad lucks fault!" like your negative thoughts had noooooothing to do with it. Nothing. I dont want to pity you, i am just going to call you out. You are acting Pitiful. You can change reality by simply going through the process, by over coming your problems.
Reality is good or bad, with or without luck. Its how you approach it that starts the course you will be taking....

No one should feel bad, for being luckier, richer, prettier, happier...what ever....no one has a real reason to feel bad.

Unless they decided to run away from the truth.

Things to doooo

List

1. Clean room
2. Do Laundry
3. Clean floor
4. Buy a pair of comfortable sandles, and closed heel shoes
5. Go grocery shopping buy ingredients for Brocolli cheese soup
6. Remember specific candles
7. Groom Suzy and Bubbles (clean her fur by her face)
8. Watch movie at night with lover. Not Avatar, lol Avatar, though good, its too long

Start now.... :-O :-P....

La la la la la la Elmo's Word

So i am super stressed, about this presentation tommorow. When will the havoc end? I need to complete 2 exams tonight.

and i havent even done to discussions online. not to mention i am the leader of two groups, for two very important end of the year projects. Thats worth like 20 percents of our grade.

I am so happy, i got chosen to be group leader though, but at the same time, i feel so skeptical.

You know what "skeptical" I should re arrange your letters so that you can look like this.

lticksepl. <- Yeah F- U!

I look out my window

And i see these older adults, complaining, about the same sh**...

Some one is watching on a pidostal....someone is judging...and putting complaints...on others...

A black kid is behaving bad...some hispanic guy is swearing off his child, some white mom is pushing around her daughter. Whose worse, those that do, or does that watch? They always told me, when i was younger dont get your self stuck in affairs that aren't yours. So that now i am conditioned to watch a man, or women beat up their child in the middle of a public bus....or the street.

Ive watched an illegal haitian run away from the police. I see a gun pointed at another man, and I just watch from the distance. Am i suppose to think I am on a pidostal? That I am just better then them? Do i simply close my eyes? Do I look away? Do i walk away? Whats worse, them or me?

I never liked the girl heroin, who grew up hiding, in her beauty and innocence. Just because she was never accepted into the hard world, she never made a hard mistake. She was never given the responsibility to grow up in the hard world, always protected, always beautiful, always sane. I never admired"her".

I always admired the ones, the ugly, arrogant, skinny girls, fat girls who would kick the ass out of some one who was being stupidly arrogant or stubborn too. Or just those who would risk their shallow appearances to stand up for another kid, even if its out right in an informal matter. Those looking from the pidostal, can easily judge and say "Whats wrong with that girl?" and look down. But since these view seers are so narrow minded theri never their long enough, and were never even involved in those girl lives, to see the outcome. The girl usually ends up becoming friends with the other girl she fought with in the end. Its like something cancelled something out. Some smakin cancelled out someones hard headedness....but in the mean while the spectator just assumes the world is cruel with "those kinds of people". Meanwhile their wallowing, in selfpity, or taking drugs. stressing stessing stressing.

the world tends to fix itself naturally if you stand long enough to watch the whole outcome.

thats what i am trying to do. Not to run away from these "strange" uncomfortable situations. If i deserve a beaten for being a chicken, than i want to atleast be able to out grow that someday.

Having a job, going to school is dandy and all. But nothing compares to everything this world has to offer.

Dead

For what remains

for what was part

of what we gave

was all a part

Of what once was

and what could never be

if only we knew

if only we could see